The End of Everything
by WrittinInStone
Summary: Destiny hangs by a thread when Arthur commits the ultimate betrayal and nothing in Camelot is the same anymore. Non-slash. On indefinite hiatus.
1. The End of Everything

Note 1: Merlin and its affiliates do not belong to me, only the contents of this story.

**The End of Everything**

**Chapter One: The End of Everything**

**By WrittinInStone**

_**M**__erlin_

I honestly never thought this day would come.

Placing the King's plate before him, I quickly and silently take my customary place behind him, my gaze down; the very picture of the perfect servant.

No matter how bad it got, no matter how rude he was, how ungrateful, I never thought I would feel this way about Arthur Pendragon.

We had a special kind of relationship, he and I. We were as close to being friends as we could be, what with him being King and me being a servant and him not knowing our shared destiny. But despite this, for the present, I was content with our relationship.

After all, there's not many kings who would give a servant the power that Arthur gave me even if I did earn each and every privilege he bestowed upon me with my service, my loyalty, my life at times.

Yet I remained grateful, thinking all the while that he was showing me his appreciation the only way that he could. For me, it was enough.

Then, he married Gwen and things began to get a whole lot better; he had began treating me like a true equal. Of course, there were times when he regressed and threatened to have me put in the stocks or banished, but those occurrences were becoming increasingly rare and I never thought he was serious about it, that he would harm me in any way.

It all changed when Gwen's cousins arrived, her having found them shortly after becoming queen. There were three of them, two women; Isis and Linden; and one man, Ian. They were excited and awed that one of theirs had become a queen and not just any queen, but Queen of Camelot.

Their arrival had shaped up to be a grand affair and I had so looked forward to meeting lost members of Gwen's family. It should have been just another celebration and in the beginning, it was, but that was until one of Gwen's cousins began to fancy me.

It was Linden and I admit, I was attracted to her. But she was the Queen's cousin so there was no way I was going there. Avoiding her seemed to be the best way to avoid any… _awkward_ situations, so I did.

It worked well until one evening, after a particularly enjoyable feast, she followed me. She did nothing inappropriate, only made her interest known in a shy, endearing manner. But I shut her down, figuring that being rude was the only way to permanently close the door on that temptation; being cruel to be kind, so to speak.

I didn't anticipate that she would leave with a heart burning with anger. I didn't anticipate that only moments after our parting, she would be assaulted and almost raped by an unknown man. I didn't anticipate that the description she had of her attacker would match mine. And it certainly never crossed my mind that anyone would even think it was me.

Most of all, it never occurred to me that Arthur would believe that I could rape someone.

But that was until I was dragged out of my bed and before a fully assembled royal court in the dead of night.

That was before I saw the look of disgust on Arthur and Gwen's faces, my so-called friends.

At first, I thought it was a cruel joke; it would not be the first time that Arthur had been unkind to me—although never to such an extent—and I was more than a little surprised that Gwen would go along with it. When I finally realized they weren't joking, I was flabbergasted; how could they believe this rubbish? Surely they did not believe this!

I begged Arthur to believe me, begged _them_ to believe me.

But they did not; my pleas fell on death ears.

Arthur… he decreed that I would be punished for my offense.

He…

He…

He had me _flogged_.

Publicly.

_Twenty times_.

I remember staring at him, silently pleading with him to end this debacle even as I was tied between two wooden poles. It never even occurred to me to use my magic to escape; I held hope that he would stop, that he would save me. I remember staring into his face as the first lash fell, how the pain was so great that it felt as though my insides had curled inside of itself.

When the third lash fell, and the fourth and the fifth, I yet hoped that he would stop my torture.

But by the time the 10th lash fell, I stopped hoping for mercy and begin to pray for death for in all my years of life, I have never felt such… such… _excruciating_ torment.

I stared into his face as I was whipped, my back afire with soul crushing agony. I gazed into his eyes as lash after lash fell, made it a point to do so even in the haze of my pain. I wanted to memorize the stoniness of his face, the sheer lack of remorse or regret. I wanted to remember it forever.

After it was over, he left me there to hang for hours; allowing neither Gaius nor the Knights to let me down.

And I could feel my blood run in rivers down my back and legs, dripping onto the unforgivable wood as I hang between the poles, hanging because my legs had long since given out on me.

There were plenty of servants, nobles who disliked me. They thought I was uppity, that I had reached above myself like Gwen. I could hear their snickers from where I hang, could hear their proclamations that I had finally gotten what I deserved. But that was not all. They threw food at me, they called me a rapist.

The sheer humiliation, the disgrace… cannot be described.

Yet the shame was nothing compared to the state of my heart.

It was shattered, torn into bits, ground into dust. My broken mind could not understand how Arthur could do this to me. Had I not always been there for him? Had I not always been loyal? Had I not given my life for him? To him?

It was like trying to reconcile fire and water; I could not wrap my mind around what had been done, what had taken place.

When I was finally taken down, I was thrown in the dungeon.

Gaius came to attend me. He was in a poor state and it looked as though he had been beaten instead of me. He tried to get me to talk, but I wouldn't speak, indeed I could not. There was nothing for me to say.

The cold, hard stone of my cell was the perfect place for my despair, my utter desolation. I think my mind shut down for a long while; I didn't want to think, didn't want to do anything. I'm almost grateful for that period as it allowed my body to heal without forcing my mind to deal with all that had happened.

Yet slowly but surely, and despite my desire not to do so, I began to process my surroundings, to become conscious of what had been done to me.

A public beating; that was how he repaid my loyalty, how he repaid all my years of faithfulness; by having me whipped in front of the entire state like an unruly animal.

And I began to hate Arthur Pendragon.

It's amazing how wallowing in the injustice done to you will change you. After all, I had nothing to do for two whole months but think about how Arthur betrayed me, how he failed me.

I tried not to let it happen; helping Arthur, being his protector, his guide, was my destiny. I did everything I could to stop the hate, even going so far as to rationalize his behavior; he had just been trying to impress Gwen and her family, he had just been doing what he thought was right… he had just made a mistake. But none of my rationale worked and the longer I stayed in that cold dungeon, the more I despised him.

But two months is a long time to hold on to anger and after awhile, I simply couldn't anymore. Instead, something even worse took its place; apathy.

I no longer cared about Arthur Pendragon; not about what he thought, what he wanted, not about his safety.

I did not believe in him anymore.

It gave me a measure of peace, allowed me to harden my heart. I had been wrong about him, everyone had been wrong about him. He had proven that he was Uther's son through and through; there could be no Albion with a man like that. Everyone who ever told me about my _destiny_ was wrong.

And that was that.

I was there for two months before the man who actually attempted to assault Linden was caught in the process of raping another girl. It seemed that having the actual culprit was enough for her to admit that she had known all along that it wasn't me.

The King of Camelot himself came to let me out of the dungeon not five minutes after she gave her confession. But it was much too late for anything like that; the Merlin he knew was well and truly dead.

I remember recognizing his footsteps as he quickly descended into the dungeons. It was a testament to how well I knew him—well, how I thought I knew him—that I would recognize him by such a thing.

I heard shouts for someone to hurry—it sounded like Gwaine—then the loud creak of my cell door opening.

There were a lot of bodies in my cell now, but I didn't look at them. I was where I normally was, in the far left corner with my knees drawn to my chest, staring at a random spot on the floor.

Someone dropped down next to me.

It was Arthur.

"Merlin," he said, voice thick with tears, with remorse, with sadness. "Merlin, I am so…" his voice broke. "Merlin…" he repeated, in a voice that sounded out of breath. "Merlin…"

I didn't respond; Arthur Pendragon no longer existed for me.

Someone else moved close. "Merlin." It was Gwaine.

I blinked slowly at the sound of his voice, but said nothing to him either. Where had he been these past two months? Where had any of Knights who had called themselves my friends been?

Gwaine tried to grab my arm, probably to help me up, but I flinched away. They had no right to touch me, I didn't want anyone touching me.

It was only when I heard Gaius' voice that I responded.

"Merlin," the physician said, his voice wavering with emotion. "You're free. Linden has confessed that you weren't the one who attacked her. You have been pardoned by the king."

Hmm… I was pardoned by the king for something I didn't do?

Thank.

You.

Arthur.

"Merlin, please," Gaius pleaded. It was that note of begging in his voice that finally made me move. He had been the only one to believe in me, to visit me regularly; to care about me. I could do no more than respond to his plea.

Slowly, I turned toward his voice, allowing my vision to focus on his face. It looked like he had aged years. There were more lines in his face and a sorrow in his visage that would normally have made my heart ache if it were still functioning properly.

I opened my mouth to speak, strangely wanting to comfort him, but nothing would come out. I guess that's what two months of vocal disuse will do.

I tried again, "Gaius?" It came out as little more than a whisper, strangled and raw.

"Yes, I'm here, Merlin," he said, moving closer to me as though to protect me. "Come, I will take care of you."

He wrapped his arms around me, attempting to help me stand, but I couldn't. I hadn't walked in nearly two months and I immediately crumpled back to the ground, nearly taking Gaius with me.

"Carry him," a voice said emotionlessly.

Arthur again.

Immediately, I fought the arms that grabbed. The last time I had been carried, I was taken to be flogged. But just like last time, my physical attempts were quickly overpowered and I was lifted off the floor.

I had no control.

Again

I went limp, retreating into my mind as they carried me out of the dungeon and through the castle toward Gaius' quarters. Gwaine's inane chatter accompanied our every step

"Don't worry, Merlin. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you ever again."

"I'm so sorry that Arthur did this to you. I tried to get him to release you but he threatened to banish me."

"I knew you were innocent all along, Merlin. I never doubted you."

"I hate the king for what he's done to you, and it's perfectly okay for you to hate him too."

His words irritated and comforted me at the same time.

Then, I was being settled into something cool and soft.

Cautiously, I opened my eyes. I was in my room, my bed.

"Place him on his stomach, please, and take off his clothes. I would like to check his back," Gaius softly instructed the lingering soldiers.

I lay there limply as they turned me over, carefully stripping my garments from my body.

A sharp intake from those in the room came as soon as my tattered back was revealed. I can only imagine how it looked; large, angry red welts and ridges littered my pale skin. A testament to the king's justice.

"Burn them," Arthur's voice rang out hoarsely. "And get him some new clothes. Brand new. The very best you can find. Move now!"

There was frantic shuffling before silence again. I could feel Gaius' presence as he stood over me, examining my wounds, but I couldn't feel anything, me being unable to feel anything there now.

I would never feel the grass on my back ever again.

After Gaius finished what he was going to do, Arthur spoke.

"If you could please give us a moment," he told the physician and I could feel Arthur's gaze on me. The soldiers immediately filed out, but by the tension of the sudden silence, I could tell that Gaius remained. I can almost imagine the elderly physician gazing upon the king in apprehension and reluctance: he didn't want to leave me with Arthur and I didn't want to be left with him.

"Please, Gaius," Arthur said softly. Although it sounded like a request, anything he said was an order because no matter how Gaius felt about him now, no matter what he had done to me; Arthur was still King.

"Very well, sire," Gaius intoned formerly. "I will be right outside."

The last words were to me, but while I appreciate it, there's nothing that he could do should Arthur decide to kill or injure me further. Even if Gaius did use magic, I am not physically able to escape. Besides, I don't think that's what the king had in mind.

Then, we were alone.

The silence was long, being so taut that it seemed a hair's breadth from breaking.

I still lay on my stomach, my face turned away from him, my eyes glazed as I stared into nothingness.

There was throat clearing, then footsteps and he was in front of me.

He kneeled by the side of my bed, but didn't touch me.

"Merlin," he began, then stopped. I could feel his gaze on me, it was almost a physical thing.

He cleared his throat again and then said with false enthusiasm. "So, I've reinstated you as my manservant now that this whole… _ordeal_… has been cleared up. All you should need is a week before you're back to polishing my amour."

I said nothing, although I raged inside.

Was he serious? He thought I would be his manservant after what he'd done to me?

It seemed he wanted nothing more than to forget about the whole situation, to go back to the way things had been before he gave me a public flogging. But that would never happen; we could never go back to the way we were before.

"Guinevere wants to come here to check on your progress," he said lightly. "She's concerned about you and will be here to see you shortly."

Ah yes, Guinevere, Camelot's beloved queen… and traitorous friend.

She and her concern could burn in hell.

"Linden has been banished from the city," he continued speaking to my unresponsive form. "Isis and Ian chose to go with her although they are ashamed of her behavior."

He falls silent as I continue to gaze into nothingness.

"Merlin," he begins again and the crack in his voice has absolutely no effect on me. I should be happy about that, but I feel nothing.

Nothing at all.

"I… _regret_ the recent events that have occurred, regret them more than anything in my life and I'm sorry. I hope that you can forgive—" he paused, clearing his throat, then began again. "I hope that we can move past this and go back to the way things were before."

When it became clear that I would not respond, he rises. "No more harm will come to you, Merlin, I promise."

At this, I blink slowly. I really wish his words actually meant a damn thing to me anymore, but… yeah.

They don't.

With a sigh, he turns and walks to the door. He pauses for a moment at the entrance to stare at me one last time.

Then the door is closing behind him and he is gone.

#*#*#*#*#

It took more than a week for me to recover.

My back was not in as bad a shape as it could have been as Gaius had come faithfully while I was in prison to tend me.

It was my legs that was the problem. Two months of disuse had left them weak, so Gaius had to reteach me how to walk.

It was a long and frustrating process, but in the end, I was able to walk for short distances, then for as long as an hour.

Gaius insisted that it was a miracle that I could already walk after only a month of re-teaching and that the more I used my legs, the faster they would get stronger. I only stared at him when he said so, unwilling to believe that it was _good_ that it had taken a full four weeks for me to regain the use of my appendages. As I struggled out of bed one morning, I determined in myself that no matter what happened, I would never lose the use of my legs like this again.

One thing I noticed as I practiced walking was a newfound limp. It was slight, yet noticeable nonetheless. When I asked Gaius about it, he hadn't wanted to tell me why I was limping when I never had such a problem before. But after some persuasion, he had finally told me it was because the flogger had probably hit me wrong and damaged a nerve in my back that affected my walking.

He said I would likely have the limp for the rest of my life.

I didn't know how to take the news that I was now a member of the lame population of Camelot, so I simply shut it from my mind, but not before adding it to my newly created list: 'reasons why I no longer believe in my destiny'.

As Arthur said, Guinevere did come to see me and only a day after I was taken back to Gaius' chambers. When she met with the same response as the King, she left in tears, but I did not care. She made her bed just like him and now, she had to lie in it.

Despite my initial and subsequent frostiness, Gwaine came to see me everyday and eventually, I begin to soften towards him. It was much easier to do when Gaius explained that out of everyone, Gwaine had been the one to try the hardest to see me. He was forced to stop when Arthur threatened to banish him if he said my name one more time. I hadn't realized he was telling the truth about that. I appreciated the fact that he was making an effort, which was more than I could say for the other knights.

It was sure as hell more than I could say for Arthur.

He didn't come to see me after the initial visit, didn't even send a messenger to enquire about my health, according to Gaius.

As I said, Uther's son, through and through.

After I regained reasonable use of my legs, about a month and a half after my ordeal, Gaius declared me fit to serve again.

I rose early that morning and as I dressed for the day, I was cognizant of the fact that in a few moments, I would be serving the man who had had me flogged, who had betrayed me.

Is this how Gwen felt when she cared for Uther, knowing that the man had killed her father, that he had tried to banish and kill her? Under different circumstances, it would have raised my estimation of her; indeed, at the time, it had for it must have been incredibly difficult for her to do such a thing.

Now, I would have to do so as well.

The kitchen is up and running by the time I get down there to get Arthur's breakfast. As soon as I enter, everyone falls silent, staring at me. Even Cook stops despite the fact that she usually does not listen to the scandal of the castle.

I do not react, simply go to the table piled with food and begin to select the King's meal.

As I do, I wonder: Did any of these people throw things at me while I hang in the courtyard? Had any of them called me a rapist? I could easily imagine all of them doing it, even the ones who had been kind to me. After all, had not Arthur betrayed me? It's easy for me to believe that they would too.

After collecting a very generous amount of food, I leave. As soon as I exit, a burst of chatter begins. What they say about me means nothing, how can it? These people have seen me at my lowest, indeed, my pride is nothing more than dust. Words can't affect me anymore. Just like the nerves in my back, the lash of the whip has removed the feelings of such.

I arrive at his chambers two minutes later, entering silently and placing the large tray of food on the table. Surprisingly, the room is tidy which means the previous manservant must've been quite efficient.

I am pleased to see that Arthur is alone in his room. I am not privy to the sleeping arrangement between him and his wife but I am grateful that she is not here. Dealing with one of them is difficult, but having to deal with both of them would have been unbearable.

I go to his cupboard and begin to lay out his clothes for the day, the same as I have always done. However, this time, everything is different. It's like I'm outside of myself, watching my stiff movements as I go about my routine.

After everything has been laid out, I finally open the curtains, knowing that the sun awakens him every time without fail.

As expected, he stirs, cursing under his breath as he beings to rise to full consciousness. By this time his eyes are opening sleepily, I am standing quietly by his side, ready to give him his food.

A plethora of emotion crosses his face as he takes in my presence. There's discomfort, apprehension, resignation… so much.

"Good morning, Sire," I intone formally. "Here is your breakfast." I offer the plate to him which he takes cautiously.

His eyebrows shoot up as his face furrows in confusion and wariness. "You're on time. You're never on time. And you're standing at my side holding a plate." He glances at the table and sees that it is piled down with food. "You never get me that much food. Are you trying to kill me?" he says the last part jokingly, but I can see the strain in his eyes.

He doesn't like what I've done, it's not normal; the Merlin he knew would have never entered quietly or laid out his clothes quietly, or prepared such a huge breakfast.

But I am not that Merlin any more. He had been incorrigible, loving; a friend. But that Merlin is dead and in his place stands the perfect servant. Call me George, but without all the perkiness.

"Is it not to your satisfaction?" I ask quietly, not meeting his gaze. A good servant never meets his superior's gaze.

"It's fine," he says tersely.

Nodding, I move to stand in the corner to await further instruction.

An uncomfortable silence reigns as he eats. I stand like a silent shadow, moving nary a muscle. It has never been so awkward between us, so painful. But maybe that's because there's no longer an 'us'.

I close my eyes as I stand, cognizant of a growing ache in my leg, but feeling a sudden need to do something I haven't done in months. Taking a deep breath, I stretch out with my senses, feeling for… ah, there it is.

Magic.

Touching it is like coming home from a long journey.

I let out a small sigh as I feel its power flood into me, wrapping me in a warm embrace as though it missed me. That is when I realized that I had cut myself off from my magic. How had I done that? When had I done it? _Why _had I done it? The first two question were beyond me, but the last… Perhaps I had done it because I had not wanted comfort. Perhaps I had done it because I didn't want Kilgarrah and Aithusa to feel my pain. Maybe I'd done so as not to burn Camelot down in my fury.

Whatever the reason or the 'how', it is an interesting phenomenon and something I must study later.

Opening my eyes, I notice that Arthur is staring at me.

I do not frown or return his gaze, only look away.

"You've met Lord Ankerfeld, yes?" he asks me suddenly, his gaze still on me.

"Yes, sire, I have," I answer promptly.

"What do you think of him?"

He's testing me, wants to see if I'll give him my opinion like I used to. He really shouldn't have bothered.

"I don't think anything of him, sire," I reply carefully, staring at the wood of his best post.

"Surely you must have some thoughts on him," he insists, studying me closely.

"I am a servant, your Majesty," I respond. "It is not my place to have thoughts on anything."

He gaze is so hot on me that it feels as though it's burning my skin. But what exactly did he expect? Obviously, not this.

"Will that be all, sire?" I ask him after a long moment of silence.

"Yes," he murmurs, turning away from me toward the window. "You my go."

I bow deeply before turning to leave, and as I close the door gently behind me, it feels final, like the end of everything.

End of Chapter 1: Review if you liked.

**Chapter 2: The Way Things Change**: The changes in the King.

***IMPORTANT***

Hello all you Merlin fans. This chapter has been done for a while, but I've been so busy in the SW fandom that I've never posted it. But I decided to go ahead and test the waters in this fandom.

If you liked this fic, please review. I'm a review hound and I lose interest if I don't think readers are interested ie, if readers don't review. Please think about that when you read. It's exceeding easy to review now, with the changes that this site has made, so please do so.

That being said, I hope you enjoyed this and are eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

**WrittinInStone**


	2. The Way Things Change

Note 1: Merlin and its affiliates do not belong to me, only the contents of this story.

Note 2: Thank you to my beta sfsf.

**The End of Everything**

**2. The Ways Things Change**

**By WrittinInStone**

_**A**__rthur_

It's so quiet.

The birds are without song, the servants, mere shadows on the wall. It's as though the world has fallen silent since _that day_.

I move to the window, my gaze running slowly over the awakening city.

He's going to be in here soon, his solemn presence filling the room.

Merlin.

It has been three weeks since his return to my service and he is _different_, so very different.

I knew that it would be so, but I was fully unprepared for its reality when he showed up that first day, so silent, so still… so cold.

He has been so ever since and seeing him like this is more difficult than anything I've ever witnessed.

Where did my irrepressible servant go? Where is my closest friend, my rock?

He is gone, beaten to death and the man that serves me now…

He is a stranger to me.

But how can I possibly expect otherwise after what I did to him?

It has made me despise myself, indeed, I cannot look in the mirror, cannot trust my judgement, cannot _rule_ like this.

Sometimes I wish I had never met him, that I had never laid eyes on that skinny, scrawny boy with ridiculous hair, bright blue eyes and the easy, wide smile.

If I hadn't met him, I wouldn't have lost the respect of my closest knights, the physician who has cared for me since I can remember, my people.

I wouldn't have lost respect for myself.

When I look back over the past few months, I can pinpoint the exact moment of my downfall. I can even name him; Agravaine.

People called me foolish for trusting the man so readily, but he was my family, my uncle, and I loved him.

It wasn't the first time I had met him, indeed, he was my favorite relative. I remember Agravaine visiting me, armed with warm eyes, sweets and stories of old. I remember a man who would sneak into my room at night and sit with me until I slept, holding my hand as I dozed.

I remember someone who loved me.

I had no idea that that man died from bitterness not long after that visit, that his love for me spoiled into loathing; a legacy from my father.

I did not know that the man I invited into my life, my household, sought to destroy me and everything that I built.

I will never forget peering around that corridor wall during the siege, watching Morgana and Helios march pass with an army of mercenaries, only for my eyes to widen in disbelief as they fell on _him_. I had _trusted_ Agravaine and yet his hands were armed with swords that were ready to tear through my men… through me.

Time seemed to slow and before the hurt could pour in, something else took its place; anger.

I wondered: Why did those I love not love me in return? _Why? _Why did they prefer power, riches…. another man… over me?

I had _relationship_ with these people. I laughed with them, cried with them, sat with them while they were sick; I put my life—and the future of my kingdom—on the line for them. But they broke my heart, sought to take my life and my crown.

How, exactly, does one deal with such treachery? How does one keep his heart intact when it is so struck, so wounded?

I could not and in the end, not only did I begin to expect betrayal, but I believed that no one was above it. Everyone became suspect, even those who had never before shown me disloyalty. After all, if the ones I was the closest to could treat me suchly, who then could I trust?

I hadn't realized, until _the incident,_ that someone _had_ escaped my mistrust; Merlin.

Despite it all, I still believed in him; I couldn't help it. He was always… just… _there._ No matter where I went, he followed and it didn't matter how dangerous it was, how ill prepared we were; Merlin never left my side. So, even though I tried to harden my heart to everyone, it remained soft to my incorrigible manservant.

But then, one horrible evening after a feast ended to celebrate Guinevere's lost cousins, Isis, the oldest, ran into the throne room yelling that Linden had been attacked. When Linden gave the description of her attacker, I hadn't even considered a suspect until Lord Gilfred insisted that he had seen Merlin leaving the area around the same time.

At first, I refused to even consider it. Merlin was my manservant and I was responsible for his esteemed position in my household, his safety… his actions. Whatever he did reflected on me and he had always, _always_ acted with honor.

But when Linden made no objection to Lord Gilfred's claims, I was floored. Furious, I ordered that Merlin be brought to the throne room.

He was dragged out looking so confused, so naive, so innocent that it only enraged me further.

I tersely called for the evidence while the court held their breaths in anticipation.

Lord Gilfred strutted to the foot of the throne, describing how he had seen Merlin quickly leaving the same place where Linden had been attacked.

Linden herself did not look at Merlin as Lord Gilfred gave his testimony, having already given a description of her attacker… Merlin's description.

When Linden finally confirmed Lord Gilfred's words with a small nod of her head, I saw red. The one man I had trusted, even though I had shut everyone else out, had betrayed me just like the rest.

Merlin's pleas to believe his innocence fell on deaf ears and before I knew it, I was passing sentence.

He had looked so surprised, so fearful and devastated, but I had ignored it; Agravaine had been a good actor as well, becoming a veritable master at manipulating me.

No longer.

Gwen, Linden, Isis and Ian remained silent through the ordeal; tears poured down Linden's cheeks while Isis and Ian looked furious. Gwen was crying tears as well, but I could tell that they were tears of sadness. The Knights were astonished and raging, all of them insisting that there must have been some kind of mistake, that Merlin could never do such a thing.

I only shook my head, barely cognizant of their words, feeling as though nothing was real.

Then, suddenly, I was in the Courtyard watching as Merlin was being tied between two wooden poles.

As I stood there, it crossed my mind that perhaps I was taking all my hurt, pain and anger at Morgana, Agravaine and even Guinevere out on Merlin, but I dismissed it. He was a liar, another traitor. He deserved the judgement I had passed and I wouldn't stop now.

My father wouldn't have.

In my heart, I knew I was angry because he had made me look the fool yet again. Just another person the King shouldn't have trusted. Well, I wouldn't allow this to happen another time. After this, no one, noble or commoner, would dare to betray Arthur Pendragon.

I almost flinched with the first lash came down, but I steeled myself: To be king was to show resolve, not weakness.

His eyes widened with that lash, mouth hanging open before closing his eyes in obvious agony.

I fought back tears as lash after lash fell, feeling something strange happen every time it was brought down. I could almost feel the impact of those hits.

But what was even more unsettling was that as he was beaten, he stared into my eyes: Even as he strained against the ropes, seeking to move away from his agony, even through his hoarse screams, he stared at me.

And his eyes were alight with a yellow fire that seemed to burn through me.

The beating seemed to last for eternity until finally, the twentieth lash fell. As soon as it did, I was walking away, my only thought was to reach the safety of my chambers.

When I arrived, I gave my guards strict instructions to let no one in, even the Queen. I remember standing in front of my bed, staring into nothingness, feeling as though my world had fallen apart.

I had no one now, _no one_ and that fact alone made me crumble to the floor.

I crawled to my bed and sat, staring at the wall, my mind filled with the images of a screaming manservant.

The next thing I knew, I was awakened by the sound of shouting and a knock on my door.

Frowning I sat up, cognizant that I had fallen asleep.

I glared at the door as more pounding sounded.

Angry, I went to it, yanking it open, only to find Gaius on the other side, surrounded by guards.

"Sire," he began immediately, tears in his voice. "It has been two hours. Please allow us to take him down."

At first, I only stared at him in confusion.

But then, a cold chill went down my spine. This was the first flogging that I had ever ordered, yet how could I forget that the accused could only be cut down upon the King's orders?

I was careful to keep my expression neutral as I nodded. "Very well," I said tonelessly. "You may take him down."

I didn't wait to see Gaius' relief before I shut the door.

I go to my window to peer out, refusing to think about how much time had passed since I fell asleep; how much time Merlin had been left hanging.

I gritted my teeth, grabbing my head tightly.

I didn't want to think about him, didn't want to think about anything: I wished for nothing more than to put Merlin and what he had done out of my mind. Yet, in the silence of my chamber, I was unable to to do anything other.

I had ordered that Merlin, my constant shadow and the closest friend I'd ever had, be whipped.

Had it really been the right choice?

When I thought about the way his frail body had seemed to crumple into itself, I wondered if, perhaps, I should have shown mercy…

Stopping, I shook my head; no. He deserved what he had gotten, indeed I had done him a favor.

Lord Gilfred was a nobleman; by his testament alone I could have had Merlin banished. Not only that, Linden was a noblewoman herself just by virtue of being related to Guinevere: I could have had him executed for attacking the Queen's cousin.

Secure in that knowledge, I hardened my heart, determined to succeed in pushing Merlin out of my mind.

He had brought this upon himself, had betrayed me and suffered the consequences: My conscious was clear.

In that moment, I vowed that I would strike Merlin from my memory, that from now on, I would not allow anyone to see him, speak to him, or mention his name to me: Merlin of Ealdor would no longer exist.

It was easier said than done.

In the coming weeks, I began to realize just how much I depended on him, how much he'd done for me, both as a servant and a friend.

The new servants tiptoed around me: They never disagreed with me, joked with me, or did anything other than bow and scrape at my every word. They also brought me enormous plates of food that Merlin would have never even _considered_ bringing me.

I remember having to bite back my complaints the first time I opened my eyes and saw that George, my new manservant, had brought me enough food to feed Camelot's army. I had to remind myself that a proper servant would've brought me such a feast anyway and I hunkered down and ate until I was about to burst—mentally tossing Merlin out of my mind.

Not only did I have to deal with skittish servants, but my Knights treated me differently, those of the Roundtable being the worst.

They never said anything directly, even Gwaine, but they made subtle hints that I should release Merlin.

It took more patience than I had to ignore them although I did appreciate that someone had obviously taken Gwaine aside and instructed him on how to proceed. More than once the Knight walked off on a "break" to quell his temper when he and the others made no leeway in getting Merlin released.

Elyan was put in a particularly difficult position and I know he felt torn between his family and his friends. Although he avoided saying anything about the ordeal, I know he wished that Merlin was allowed to leave the dungeons.

Gaius… well, I hardly ever saw him. He avoided me as much as was possible what with him being one of my advisors.

My relationship with Gwen was affected as well.

I took to avoiding her—which is yet another thing I am not proud of—because deep inside, I blamed her, as unfair as I knew it was, for the loss of Merlin.

If her cousins hadn't shown up, he wouldn't have been tempted and he would still be by my side. It made me cold, almost rude to Isis, Linden and Ian, making them avoid my presence which was fine by me. I was aware that my behavior was shameful and deep down, it horrified me, but my heart was bleeding and aching with such sadness that I could not bring myself to care.

If that wasn't bad enough, Gwaine's tactics became increasingly aggressive and he dogged my every step, pushing to see Merlin and for me to let him go.

Finally, I snapped, threatening him with the stocks and banishment if he even breathed that name to me one more time.

At that point, I couldn't stand it; I ended all of my duties for the day and retreated to my chambers.

Finally, in the safety of my room, I acknowledged the truth that had been growing inside of me since _the incident_.

I missed Merlin.

And it wasn't a passing, scant emotion that plagued me occasionally. No, I missed him so much it felt like my heart was bleeding.

I am not ashamed to say that I cried that night, sobbed into my pillow like a small child.

I had never truly realized how horrible life had been before Merlin, how lonely I had been surrounded by people who liked me because I was a prince and not because of who I was as a person.

Looking back on that day in the marketplace, when he captured me with his impertinence, I never would have known that he would change my life, that a void I never knew I felt would be filled with his presence.

And now that he is gone… I feel broken.

Empty.

Sometimes I look into a mirror and try to understand: Why am I grieving for this man so _hard_? No matter how much I tell myself that he is just a servant, a rapist, a criminal, no matter how I try to demean him in my own eyes, I yet sorrow.

The weight of my misery quickly became unbearable and I began to withdraw from people, choosing to retire to my quarters as soon as my duties for the day were done.

I did not want to socialize, did not want to celebrate; Merlin had hurt me in a way that no one, not even Agravaine, had done and I could not handle it.

It's no wonder that my father never claimed any close friends, why he was always willing to suspect those who had always been loyal of treachery. He must have known one truth: A king had no friends.

It is a lesson that I have learned, and that, very well.

#*#*#*#*#

On a bright, Tuesday afternoon, some two months later, a guard interrupted a council meeting with news: A man had been found in the act of raping a woman in the lower town.

Fury immediately reared its ugly head. So, more trash wanted to assault my citizens? Not in Camelot.

"Bring him before the Court," I called immediately, rising from my seat at the head at the table. "Do it now."

The guard nodded and within the hour, the full Court had assembled, eager to see judgment passed.

I frowned as the accused was dragged in; he was thin with black hair and blue eyes.

Like Merlin.

A shred of _something_ ripped through me, but I shook my head, shrugging off the thought that came to mind. For my sudden suspicion to be true would be too heinous to contemplate. Merlin was guilty; Linden had said so.

"You, Galden, are hereby accused of the attempted rape of a maiden, how do you plead?" I announced coldly.

"Innocent," the man answered arrogantly, eyes gleaming as he gazed lasciviously at the ladies of the court.

"Very well," I said quietly, disgusted by what I saw in front of me. "You will be tried tomorrow. Guards! Throw him in the dungeon."

The man, Galden, sneered as he was being dragged out and as he was, his gaze landed on Linden. When he saw her, he grinned, his licks puckering into a grotesque kiss.

She stared at him in horror, shuddering at the man's actions.

Frowning, I watched her curiously and as she looked away from the man, she caught my eye and swallowed visibly.

The feeling of dread returned as she approached the throne.

"…Milord, milady" she began nervously, her eyes darting between Guinevere and I before going to the floor. "I… I…"

"You can speak without fear here, Linden," Guinevere said with a frown, mindful of the growing tension, surely having the same horrible suspicions as me.

"I…" Linden shook her head and took a deep breath. "I have a confession to make."

"Okay…" Gwen said and I could hear a twinge of fear in her voice.

"I… Merlin was not the man who… assaulted me," she confessed, her voice shaking. "It was Galden."

"I'm sorry," I said loudly, twisting a finger in my ear to clear out non-existent wax. "I didn't hear you because you couldn't have possibly said that Merlin is innocent?"

She trembled at my tone, but continued shakily, "Yes, sire, that's what I'm saying. Merlin… he is innocent."

I stared at Linden as her words echo through my head like clanging symbols.

"Merlin was not the man who assaulted me."

"Merlin is innocent."

_Merlin is innocent._

Silence had fallen over the hall, the nobles staring at the unfolding drama with morbid fascination. Then, everyone burst into chatter at what must be to them, the juiciest gossip of the year.

I heard Guinevere erupt as she lost her cool for the first time I can ever remember, furiously shouting at Linden who shrunk into herself.

Gwaine was being held back by equally furious Roundtable Knights who looked as though they themselves were moments from jumping her.

"Silence," I said quietly, feeling as though my bones were melting, hoping that this was not real.

The noise continued.

"Silence," I repeated more forcefully as feelings of _something_ welled within me.

I am ignored.

"_Silence_!" I bellowed, turning around to face the Court, knowing that my face is turning red. "The next person who speaks will be _stripped_ of their titles and _executed_ as soon as the axe is ready!"

I closed my eyes, attempting to regain my composure as all noise ceased immediately.

I took a deep shuddering breath, turning to clutch my throne once again, my back to the hall as I tried to breath.

After a long moment, I spoke.

"Linden," I said quietly, without turning around, my voice carrying to every corner of the hall. "You are hereby banished from Camelot and all its lands."

I heard gasps at my words but I continued tonelessly. "You will not stop to gather your possessions, you will not say any final goodbyes; you will leave my lands right now or be burned at the stake for the witch you are."

A pin drop could have been heard in the halls.

"Guards," I order, fighting to breath. "You will fetch Gaius and bring him to the dungeons immediately. _Immediately_."

They jump up, tripping over themselves to do my bidding.

Then my feet are moving and I'm running to the dungeon.

To Merlin.

My heart feels like it wants to beat out of my chest and I feel sick.

_Merlin is innocent._

The words would not stop revolving in my head.

_Merlin is innocent._

My mind refused to move past that one fact.

_Merlin is innocent._

I reach the dungeon in record time, realizing, only when I get there, that the Knights of the Roundtable have followed me.

The guards seemed confused to have a sudden influx of visitors for a prisoner, but Gwaine had no time for confusion.

None of us did.

"The keys, you fool!" Gwaine shouted. "Open the door!"

Then, it opened and I caught my first glimpse of Merlin in two months.

What I saw shattered my heart.

He was sitting in the corner, staring into nothingness.

He was filthy; he seemed to be streaked with fecal matter and blood. His clothes were tattered and falling off of him and he was even thinner than he was before. His hair was matted to his head and looked to be filled with lice.

Looking at him, in that moment, felt like being impaled by an enemy's blade. Guilt, hot and heavy, stabbed through every orifice of my body, making my knees weak, making me dizzy.

_Oh, God._ I couldn't help but think. _What have I done?_

Eyes blurring with tears, I dropped down next to him.

He was so still, so vacant that for a moment I wondered if he was alive.

"Merlin…" I began, unable to keep the tears from my voice. "Merlin, I am so…" I paused, trying to regain my composure. "Merlin…"

He didn't respond, didn't even seem to realize that his cell was full.

Gwaine dropped to his other side. "Merlin," he said cautiously.

Merlin blinked, but continued to stare. Gwaine tried to grab his arm but he pulled away, scooting farther into the corner, tightening his arms around himself.

Suddenly, Gaius is there. Initially, his words had no affect on Merlin either; only when the old physician began to beg did Merlin respond.

"Merlin, please," Gaius pleaded, "_please_."

Merlin shifts. Slowly, his eyes regained focus. He opened his mouth, but a garbled mess came out.

He tries again. "Gaius?" he said hoarsely.

The older man immediately moved forward, attempting to help him up. But Merlin fell, causing Gaius to fall as well. When I called for Percival and Elyan to pick him up, he immediately fought them and then grew limp when it became obvious that he could not win.

It is then that I remembered that he was taken to be whipped the last time he was carried.

Gritting my teeth, I stoically follow behind Percival and Elyan, hoping that I will awaken from this nightmare.

#*#*#*#*#

The next few hours are a blur.

Merlin is returned to his room, responding to no one but Gaius. Seeing his back literally made me sick, and it had taken everything I had to remain in the room as Gaius examined him.

My attempt to talk to him was met with no response, so I left, feeling drained and… tired. So very tired.

Before I knew it, I was in my chamber and exhausted, feeling as though I had fought a war and lost.

Guinevere had not been able to bear facing Merlin, so she refused to see him right away, saying that she would find the courage tomorrow.

The next day, when Gwen came back in tears, all thoughts of seeing Merlin again fled. The sad truth was that I was even less courageous than my wife; I was too much of a coward to face him again.

As the days passed, I avoided Gaius' chambers and wrote many letters to Merlin that I never sent. The words on the page, the apology, never seemed to be enough.

I did procure the services of Elyan to stay abreast of Merlin's condition. Gwaine was always quite open with his fellow Knights on Merlin's progress and Elyan was the only one who seemed willing to speak to me with civility. Perhaps it was because he knew how it felt to be torn, to be confused and ashamed.

Then, in what seemed to be no time at all, Gaius informed me that Merlin was able to reenter my service.

I was fearful and excited at the thought of seeing him again, had hoped that reinstating him as my manservant would help us to fall back in to our old routine. It wasn't until later that I realized just how… boorish and completely insensitive my request had been.

Of course, he wouldn't want to be my manservant anymore; after this, no one would.

But I craved what we had before, prayed that we could have it again, so I said nothing, giving him no alternative other than to serve me.

My hope was in vain.

His return was worse than anything I could have imagined.

The closeness, the friendship that I so longed for, was gone.

Merlin would not look at me or touch me in any way—even when helping me put on my clothes. He wouldn't joke with me, or pick or insult me. He also walked with a limp now, and followed behind me much slower than he used to. And even though he tried to hide it, I could tell that he was in pain when he carried my amour or when we hunted.

But that wasn't the worst part. Merlin never smiled or laughed anymore. His eyes didn't glow and the mischievous smile that had always sprung so readily to his lips was gone.

He was a shell of his former self.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

It killed me and quite honestly, I wanted to die. My heart, my trust in myself, in my judgment was shattered.

I had lost my dearest friend, so what now?

I couldn't forgive myself for what I'd done, so, how could he?

Why even try?

How could someone forgive something like this?

So, I did nothing to reconcile. Absolutely nothing.

I merely watched his every movements with shuttered eyes, harboring hope that one day he would enter with a smile on his lips and a gleam in his eyes. That my Merlin would come back to me.

So far, that day has not come.

#*#*#*#*#

"Arthur, we need to talk."

I look up from my desk as my wife glides into the room.

I frown as she enters. She is wearing her purple dress, the one that I like so much. She must have something really important to say for she only wears that dress when she wants my attention.

"Yes, Guinevere?" I respond politely, my eyes returning to my report.

"This… behavior from you has gone on long enough. You cannot keep shutting me out," she says, moving to stand directly in front of my desk. "I've had enough of it."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I answer, flipping through the pages.

"Arthur," she says seriously. "_Please_."

I finally stop when something wet drops onto my papers. I look up into brown eyes brimming with tears.

My heart clenches at her pain and I cannot help but respond to it.

"What do you want me to say, Guinevere?" I ask, running both hands through my hair.

"I want you to say that you won't give up like you have, that you'll fight to regain what we lost," she responds, her eyes beseeching me.

"You mean, you want me to tell you that I believe that Merlin will forgive me? That my most trust Knights will stop hating me? That I will magically regain my self-respect?" I ask sarcastically. "Very well, if it'll help you sleep better at night—"

"You haven't even tried to make it up to him—" she interrupts, ignoring my words. "You haven't talked to him or written to him or any—"

"Do you think I haven't wanted to?" I explode finally, pushing away from the desk. "What, exactly, do you think that'll do?"

"It'll show him that you're putting forth an effort, Arthur," she insists, moving to me, placing a hand on my chest.

"Yes, and what is "putting forth an effort" doing for you?" I ask nastily, ignoring the pang of guilt at her sharp intake of breath.

She steps away from me, moving to the window.

"You blame me for this, don't you?" her question was more a statement as she stared down at the bustling marketplace.

"…I blame you no more than I blame myself, Guinevere," I reply, turning my head away from her.

"So you blame me a lot," she responds, closing her eyes. I say nothing, unable to disagree with her.

"You are right about one thing, Arthur," she says, turning to look at me, fire in her eyes. "It is my fault that I believed the word of a virtual stranger over my best friend, but at least I'm mature enough to accept that."

I say nothing, only keep my face turned away from her.

"Do you want to know why I believed Linden?" she asks quietly after a soft moment.

"You know what? I don't want to hear any more of this," I hiss, turning to storm out of the room.

"I was… assaulted once, five years ago, right before Merlin came to Camelot," she says faintly as I reach the door.

I pause as the softly spoken words hit me. Blinking I turn around to find that she has sat down at the end of my bed, her back facing me.

"What?" I ask softly, unable to believe what I'd just heard.

"I was serving a visiting prince from a kingdom beyond the Northern Plains," she continues, as I slowly move around the bed to face her. "And he decided that he wanted more than the sheets I was bringing him."

I finally move in front of her and as she looks up at me with swimming brown eyes, shame, deep and angry roars within me.

"I'd never felt so helpless in my life, Arthur," she bursts out, covering her face as she breaks into sobs. "He thought he had every right to take me by force and there was nothing I could do. I wasn't strong enough to fight him. He held me down so easily and he would have succeeded in Sir Leon had not heard my screams while on patrol and came to my rescue."

Finally I cannot take it anymore and I gather her in my arms, holding her close as she cries into my shirt.

"When Isis ran in screaming that Linden had almost been raped, I didn't see Merlin anymore, Arthur, I saw that man who tried to take everything from me. My best friend was beaten because I thought I had an opportunity to get revenge on that prince, to prove to him that I had power and that no man in my kingdom would ever get away with such a heinous act," she moaned, her small frame shuddering against me. "My best friend, Arthur…_ my best friend_ paid for the actions of another man. That's why I won't, why I _can'_t give up on him. I need him to forgive me because Merlin is worth it. And I will take every rejection, every angry word, every cold shoulder from him if it means that in the end, I will be able to call him friend once again."

She falls into silence as she clings to me and I bury my nose into her dark locks, inhaling the wonderful scent of flowers.

"Guinevere," I say after a long moment of silence, refusing to let her go. "Why do you put up with me when I am the most foolish of men?"

I feel her shake her head against my chest.

"You are hurting, Arthur," she says, lifting her head to look into my eyes. "And hurting people hurt others. That's natural. Just don't push me away, and don't allow all the relationships that we've fostered over the years to perish. You must fight for them, even if it's the hardest, most humbling thing to do, because are not our friends worth it? Is not Merlin worth it?"

"If we want Merlin back, we have to give him time; we have to prove to him that we're worthy of his forgiveness," she continues softly. "We owe it to him not only because we were the ones who wronged him but because we were supposed to be his friends, the ones he could rely on no matter the circumstances. We failed him, Arthur. So, we must forget about ourselves, our hurts and our pains because this is not about us. It's about Merlin."

I stare into her wet orbs for a moment before pulling her close to me. She says nothing, just snuggles into me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

I don't know how long we hold one another, but as the sun sets and the light fades, I think about all that Guinevere said and all I have been through with Merlin, Gaius and the Knights.

And I make my decision.

#*#*#*#*#

The next morning, I rise, quickly dressing myself, determined to start anew.

Guinevere was right; she was right about everything.

What happened to Merlin was my fault and mine alone. Yes, Gwen had agreed with my decision at the time, but as King, I should have waited and gotten more evidence. Even more than that, I should have believed the word of my best friend.

Merlin had been there for me from the very moment he became my manservant. It didn't matter how much I yelled at or ridiculed him; he never left my side. He rode with me into certain danger, had told me about Agravaine and had even remained with me when I didn't believe him. Not only that, how many times had I been able to continue simply because I knew that Merlin had faith in me? How many pep talks had he given me that filled me with confidence, that made the hard times that much easier?

I never should have taken the word of Lord Gilfred and Linden over him, _ever_, but I had and now he has broken all ties with me. But I won't let it remain that way. I will do what I must to win back his confidence, win back his loyalty… win back his love.

And it all comes back to one concept: Merlin is worth it.

There is a bounce in my step as I head to Gaius' quarters.

The first thing I'm going to do is get him some brand new clothes, we'll even shop for them together—Guinevere said it was a bonding experience, or something like that.

Then, we're going to do whatever he wants to do even if I have to order him to pick something. Then, we'll have dinner in my room and I'll tell him why I did what I did and that I'll do whatever he wants to make it up to him.

This is going to work and we're going to be friends again.

We will.

Arriving at Gaius' chambers, I politely knock on the door instead of barging in: If I'm going to win my friends back, I should start by being courteous.

I hear shuffling from inside before the door opens to a red-eyed, tear-streaked physician.

My heart sinks like boulder in water as I take in his appearance.

"Gaius, what's wrong?" I ask as I sweep inside. "Where's Merlin?"

He says nothing, only looks at me with a blank expression on his face.

Heart pounding in my chest, I race to his room, praying with everything inside of me that the unthinkable hasn't happened.

I fly up the steps into Merlin's room only to find it…

Empty.

I blink, slowly taking in the room.

It is clean, bare, as though no one has ever lived here.

I close my eyes as despair begins to well up within me.

He's gone.

Merlin is gone.

It had taken me too long to act; my fortitude had come to late. I had had a whole month to try to make things right with him and my window of opportunity had come and gone.

Merlin is gone.

I start as I hear a noise behind me, turning to find that Gaius has entered behind me.

I blink at him, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill down my cheeks.

Merlin is gone, he's really left Camelot… left me.

I knew it was a possibility that he would leave; how can I not after what I did? Yet I never expected it to hurt so much, never expected it to feel as though I have been ripped asunder, as though something rare and precious has been taken from me.

But I deserve this for not trying to make it right immediately, for expecting him to wait until _I_ was ready to apologize.

God… how was he able to stand me for all these years?

Taking a shaky breath, I nod at Gaius and leave, brushing past him.

I won't accept this, _can't_ accept this.

He is gone, but I will find him; he will come back to me.

I will make this up to him and when he realizes that I care for him, that I am sorry, he will return. And when he does, I will give him everything that he is due and he won't ever leave my side again.

I pause as I enter the hallway, nodding grimly.

It's amazing the way things change. Just yesterday I had given up on ever regaining Merlin as a friend, but today, I have determined in myself that I will show him that I am worthy of his friendship and I won't stop trying until I do.

I will make this up to all of them; Gaius, Gwen, Gwaine, Elyan, Percival and Leon.

Enough whining, enough playing the coward. It is time I started acting like the man, the King, that Merlin always thought I was.

I hail a nearby guard, instructing him to assemble Sirs Gwaine, Elyan, Percival and Leon as well as Gaius and the Queen in my private chamber.

There is work to be done.

End of Chapter 2: Please review

**Chapter 3: The Road Not Taken**: Merlin on the road.

A/N: So sorry the update has taken so long. I had initially said that the first chapter of this fic was just to test the waters, but there were so many reviews that I felt obligated to post another chapter. Thank you so much for the lovely responses. If you guys continue to review like that, I will definitely try to continue posting for this fic. So… yes! Please review.

A/N2: Looking for an awesome Merlin fic? Check out sfsf's Disillusionment. You won't regret it.

A/N3: I have a website called **The Word Chisel**. The link is on my profile. You can find my unabridged works there as well as recommendations for different fandoms, so, check it out! Also, I post my fics there first. If you want updates for that, please add me on Twitter which is also on my profile.


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